Monday, September 14, 2009

All dogs go to.. the Neptune?

Ok so anyone who knows me knows that i am not a fan of animals. There i said it. It's more specific than animals as a whole however there are specific reasons that animals freak me out. I don't like anything that can lick it's ass and then lick my face. I have a problem with cats and their poop feet, yes, poop feet. Would you be happy if i came to your home and used the bathroom only to put my feet in the toilet and then walk around? No it's disgusting and yet it's fine for cats to do it 3, 4 even more times a day? GROSS! And then the famous line that most all pet owners have used at one time or another " you know, their tongues are cleaner than yours" Oh really? Whens the last time I sat in the middle of your living room floor licking my own genitals? I don't care if my tongue is made out of purell it's gross. So imagine my surprise well disgust really when last night two women walk into the restaurant where I am holding very furry very yippy dog. When the waitress went to seat them in my section i was going to say something however the owner realized her precious pooch shouldn't be seated so close to the infant at the next table. Now i am against dogs in public place at all. Ok i'm a horrible person whatever I HAVE ALLERGIES!!! When i come home to my parents house i have to pry my eyes open each morning because my body has been rejecting the rouge hairs and dander bits all night. When my brothers dog touches me within minutes my skin is red, puffy and feels like i've been romping around in a fiberglass sleeping bag. So when i go to have a meal or a beer I want an animal free zone. I'm not heartless no one has ever had success with a seeing eye turtle it's ok for medical necessity but seriously. An effing high chair for your dog?

This dog has its own plate full of finely chopped food and its own glass of water. I really hope that the dish washing crew at the Neptune does a top notch job on these dirty dishes. I'm sorry if i've upset any of my animal loving friends but a dog in a high chair is just too much for me to deal with. I'm not saying i will never own a dog but i'll certainly never take it into a restaurant.


  1. I am so in agreement with you on this. I HATE when people bring their animals into the mall for no reason....

  2. Gah! Dogs don't get to eat with people, period. They are dogs! You are people. We figured this out thousands of years ago when we were still sitting around with our thumbs up our asses believing that the moon was a dude in the sky.

    Though it doesn't surprise me that this was at the Neptune. I know it's where I go when I want an authentic Middle America moment