Friday, January 1, 2010

New Years Evolutions

Each year people make lists. Some are mental, some are written I've even know some to be laminated. These are lists that make promises to change, to get better, to do more or less. Of course I am writing about New Years resolutions. I remember my first New Years resolutions were made in Mrs. Whittakers 2nd grade class. I cannot recal what I wrote but it started me on a life long venture to find my deficits. To resolve something is to change it as if it's a problem. Most people don't keep their resolutions and I believe it is because we don't like to see our flaws. We are not comfortable breaking down the resolutions we make. If ones resolution is to quit smoking that is wonderful although hard to maintain if one does not understand the root of their smoking addiction. The resolution on a television is all of the tiny little pictures that create the one large picture we see. The big picture is great and easy to see but to really breakdown ones New Years resolution is frankly something that will allow me to have a job in counseling after I finish my degree. We are complex creatures and we started writing our life story at birth. We cannot expect to unwrite chapters just because a ball has dropped or a bell has rung. It takes a lot to understand why we don't keep in touch with people, over eat or are afraid to quit a job we absolutely hate. It is not one simple task to find the courage to make positive changes. That is why I've decided that i will never make a New Years resolution again. There isn't anything wrong with me that needs to be changed. Anything that I would record as a resolution is something that will take me time to understand the details that will allow me to make a positive change. Alas my inner anthropologist has decided to make a list of evolutions. A list of items that will over time grow to be at the highest level of functioning. It may happen in the next year, it may happen in the next decade. I can always add to the list because evolution is constant no defined beginning or end just a constant move toward positive growth.
Cassie's Evolutions
1. Make decisions for me. For a long time I have made decisions about my life based on what other people want. From simple things like where to eat dinner or which movie to watch to large decisions like quitting my life to move to South Korea. My fist step in this evolution was when i decided to move to South Korea even though Colleen and I had broken up. I wanted this adventure and I decided to do it for me. I will continue to make decisions for me.

2. I will continue to step out of my comfort zone. Since I've been in Korea I've eaten escargot,kimchi, pig skin and squid jerky. Obviously there is a lot more to stepping out than trying new food but it's a start.

3. Stay healthy mentally and physically. Continue to practice Reiki and channel energy. Start journaling again.

4. Love fully and allow myself to be loved.

5. Tell people what I need from them physically, intellectually and emotionally. This is closely associated with number one and letting people know what I want without compromise.

6. Be less jealous of people and their adventures. When one constantly measures oneself against others they make the world their judge.

7. Have the courage to be imperfect.

I'm sure more evolutions will come and I'll think of ways to improve these, to improve myself, my relationships and the world around me.

The past ten years have been so interesting for me and I can't wait to see what the next ten years will bring. Happy New Year everyone. May you find peace, love, understanding and the courage to be imperfect.